It's that time of year again, in the midst of the holidays, when you start thinking about the year that's passed, and the year ahead. When you take stock of how far you've come, or not, and reevaluate where you want to be this time next year. When you figure out what worked, and what didn't, and what you need to do better.
This was a hard year for me. Coming off all the disappointments of the DNFs last year, blowing Leadwoman almost before it started, having to bail on my dream race even though from the ankles up I felt better than I ever have in my life... It took a solid toll. I didn't even WANT to run the first half of the year. So I bailed out of the one running race I had registered for in the spring, and I turned to the bike - I registered for a little ride in east Kansas called the Dirty Kanza.
And that went to hell also. My car broke down, and at 4:00 am I could NOT make myself go ride 100 miles without knowing how I was going to get home. Another blow. At least I got to run support for my teammates, which didn't suck at all.
I came home with my tail between my legs and just kinda sulked for a while, doing doing a lot of eye rolling about life and circumstance.
Now, somewhere along the way, I had gotten the idea that trying something new might be just what I needed. I registered for a non branded 70.3 tri just up on Boulder, figuring that if I didn't have to travel to it, I might actually finish it.
I trained grudgingly, but I trained. Running didn't feel awesome - the plantar faciitis was rearing its ugly head on somewhat of a regular basis. But I was having fun on the bike and I was swimming laps one day a week, which I'd forgotten I really enjoy.
A week before race day, something popped in my calf. Doing something stupid, like walking down the stairs. Awesome. Another blow. Wasn't sure what to do THIS time. Out of sheer desperation, I called my acupuncturist. The woman is a miracle worker.
I wasn't sure I was even going to be able to start the damned race, let alone run a half marathon at the end of it, but the day before the race I woke up able to walk. Figured I'd give it a go.
What a go it was! I did alright on the swim, KILLED it on the bike, and made it through the run without too much issue. Granted, it was one of the slowest half marathons I've ever run, but I survived it and could still walk when I was done. Overall, I beat my goal time by almost 45 minutes, something I had never managed to do before. Damn, did that feel good!
Something changed in me that day. I don't think I can recall the exact moment it happened, but I've felt differently ever since. I figured out I can push hard. And I am capable of actually racing instead of just going through the motions.
In the weeks after that tri, I went back to my acupuncturist a few more times, and I finally sorted through all the lingering injuries. I'm fairly healthy from those issues at this point and know what to do if/when they creep back up, because they will.
I think what changed the most in me, though, was my motivation. I realized that while doing that tri was fun, of I'm going to be out racing for 7 or 8 hours, or longer, I'd rather just run. I really just like running that much better. Yeah, yeah. I know I'm nuts. Since sorting out my legs, I've put in more consecutive weeks of training and base building than I ever have in my life. And I'm loving it.
I have huge goals for the next few years. Instead of going back and trying for that 100 miler I DNF'ed next year, I'm going to let it go and try a 100K instead. That 100 miler will still be there the following year, when I turn 40 and need a huge goal. I have a few marathons and 50Ks picked out to do as training runs. And I'm bound and determined to DO the core work, to DO the hill repeats, to put in all the work. I can come back stronger, better than I've ever been before... And maybe, just maybe, I won't spend next summer chasing cutoffs...
