What a satisfying feeling. This one had been a LONG time in the making. Like, seven or eight years' worth. The last time I was ready to do what I finally accomplished, I never got the chance.
Okay, okay. So I FINALLY went up the Imperial lift at Breck and skied the Imperial Bowl. The last time I thought I was ready (I don't know, maybe five or six years ago), it never opened again in the season. I never got the chance. We switched ski passes for a few years, and by the time we switched back, I was scared.
I don't know what happened. All of a sudden, I lost all confidence in my abilities, and I just couldn't make myself ski to my ability level. I didn't fall, I didn't have a particularly scary experience... I just got scared. I could barely get down runs that I've done a bunch of times. By the time we got back to the pass we have now, the Imperial Bowl was this huge, giant thing that I didn't have a shot to ever get down...
Long story short (with a bit of the story in my last post), I got tired of being scared. I purposely put "ski a double black voluntarily" on my list to get myself there.
After the previous week, when I just made myself do what I was so scared of, I just decided. I got sick and tired of being scared. I figured I was going to try it. If it sucked, I could always take off my skis and walk down. So, I didn't give myself much of a chance to chicken out. I told Matt that I just wanted to head straight there with a minimum of warm-up.
All of a sudden, I found myself on the lift headed up to the highest point in Breckenridge. I got off and looked over the edge. Instant panic. Swearing, hyperventilating, shaking legs, the works. But, I was stuck. There really was only one way down. Matt (God bless him) very gently talked me into just moving. Once I got across the scary super steep stuff and to the slightly less steep stuff, I was alright. I mean, at least I could breathe. I will confess, I did sit on my butt once or twice to flip my legs over so I could be facing the direction I wanted to negotiate the moguls.
I got down safely, and first words out of Matt's mouth were, "Gonna do that again?" Shit. I'm not sure I actually said anything out loud. It wasn't a great run I'd had by any stretch of imagination. I could do better. I headed straight back to the damned lift and went right back up again.
This time was freakin amazing. I'm not sure I have the words to describe how it went. Was it pretty? No. Was it smooth and graceful? I'm not sure what those words mean. But. No panic. No hyperventilating. No sitting and flipping my skis over. I made the turns. I was laughing and giggling pretty loudly by the time I realized I was, indeed, capable of such a thing. I got to the bottom high as a kite this time.
I. Did. It. Will I do it again? Probably. Soon? Who knows? At least I know I can. And what a satisfying feeling that is.....
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